|Seven dossiers headed to IBESR.|
Our dossier was sent to the Haitian consulate in Chicago last week for one more authentication step. At the very last possible minute, after I had given up hope, the dossier was Fed Exed back to our agency coordinator in Virginia. It was a clear answer to many prayers from us and those we asked to pray with us.
Then on Saturday our coordinator, Michelle, took our dossier and six others and flew to Haiti. This morning she has a meeting with IBESR, Haiti's social services, to submit these dossiers for review and referrals under the new regulations. She is also proposing to them America World's orphan hosting program, where older kids spend a few weeks in the U.S. to experience the culture and hopefully find a forever family.
But there's a great big caveat. News from Haiti is that IBESR has implemented a new quota of no more than one dossier per adoption agency per month. There are nineteen approved agencies, but some of them are very small and process very few adoptions, while America World is pretty well known and handles many adoptions. To say that the quota is unfair is...well...the understatement of the century.
At this point we have no idea what priority our dossier will be given except that we know it isn't first among the seven from America World. If we were seventh on the list, theoretically our dossier would stay in our agency's hands until July. That's a long time to wait to even begin the wait for a referral. That would mean no baby girl to come home in 2013.
My emotions have fluctuated a lot over the past few days since we learned this hard news. Of course everyone reminds me that it's all in God's hands and His timing is perfect. We have friends who have been waiting much longer than even we would have to wait. But it dawned on me that we could have a new baby when Mike is forty years old. That feels wrong, even if it isn't.
Saturday I flew home from a business trip in Chicago and felt tears building up just below the surface all day. I was exhausted so after we celebrated Mike's birthday and put the kids to bed I went to sleep myself at 8:30 and didn't wake up till 6am. I knew in my head that God is sovereign and comforter but I wasn't feeling the usual joy I have heading to church.
I asked God for faith, not just for a favorable outcome. I could feel that my faith was weak and I believe that when you ask Him for more faith He will never deny you. I asked Him to show up in church and make Himself present to me.
It took about 3.2 seconds for that to happen. The worship leader introduced the song, which I immediately knew to be Aaron Ivey's "Found", one of my favorites. Two lines in and it was uncontrollable waterworks from me. I think if you read the lyrics you'll see why.
Jesus, healer of brokenness
Savior, the fixer of troubled souls
Redeemer, you’re turning my eyes to thee
Mighty God, you’re just and merciful
Oh God of beauty and grace
You are my resting place
All of my life is found in You
You’ve taken my brokenness
Made me whole once again
All of my life is found in You
I’m found in You
All my security, my destiny
What lies ahead is found in you
All my hopes and dreams, my thoughts unseen
All my wants are found in you
What I dread and fear, all that weighs me down
All my trust is found in You
You’re my sustaining breath, all that gives me strength
All life-giving is found in You
So yeah, my faith has increased. Nothing is impossible with my God. So we pray and wait.