Watching the Olympic Swimming Trials in Omaha

Last night I did something really fun and unexpected. My family tuned in to watch the Olympic swimming trials on NBC in prime time, feeling the excitement of our friends in Omaha while we sat in our living room in Houston.

You see I found out this week that the college aged son of old friends of ours from Pennsylvania would be swimming in three events in the trials. Thanks to the magic of Facebook, I learned that Nate Savoy is now a rising sophomore on the swim team at Penn State (my alma mater). His whole family joined him in Omaha and kept everyone up to date with event news and photos. They even encouraged us to follow along with his events on USASwimming.org.

Nate qualified for the 100 and 200 meter backstroke as well as the 200 IM. He ended up shaving 3.2 seconds off his time and placing 7th overall in heats for the 200 back and advanced to the semi-finals, which is why we were able to watch him in prime time last night!

Olympic medalists Kristy Kowal, Aaron Piersol, and Josh Davis with Nate Savoy.

Being a die-hard Nittany Lion fan, I watched with great pride as Nate and a few other of his teammates wore the PSU logo on their caps and warm-up clothes. Nate paused and knelt before his semi-final race, giving glory to God. I'm told his theme verse is Phil. 4:13, which says "I can do ALL things through Him who gives me strength."


In the end Nate just missed qualifying for the finals in his event, which takes place tonight. Six-time Olympic medalist, Ryan Lochte, is the heavy favorite in the event, expected to represent the US in London in many events. Only the top two finishers in the finals will compete in London. It will be fun to watch Ryan and the others swim tonight.  

Still we are so thrilled for our friends, the Savoy family, who all got to experience Olympic trial excitement in Omaha. We're amazed by the talent God has given Nate, and glad he will spend the next few years on the Penn State swim team. 

Join us in watching the rest of the trials in the next few days and following the action on USASwimming.org. We can't wait to cheer on Team USA in London in August! 




This post was facilitated by USA Swimming and The Motherhood, but there is nothing sponsored about the excitement we felt for our friends during this experience. 

Type A Parent Blogging Conference In Photos

Following along in the tradition of Photography Thursday here at Water Water Everywhere, today's recap will be mostly photos. There are dozens of recaps of the conference all over the blogosphere now, including my recap of the Ethics session, so I don't feel the need to rehash all the content.

But I will tell you how I managed to get all these pictures in a very unforgiving light situation. In a minute. 

My awesome friend Kelly speaks about Klout and such.

First up let me say that the conference was awesome. I'm a bit amazed at how totally laid back the vibe is, considering its name. In fact I originally did not follow Kelby's blog or have interest in the conference several years ago because I am sooooo not Type A. I know better now! Kelby rocks and if she's really Type A, she doesn't come across that way to me at all. At. All.

Lisa appearing beautiful, fierce, and serene. 

The best part of the conference for me had to be my roomates. I had not met Hillary or Teri Lynne in person before last week but I knew both of them pretty well. Hillary is a Philly Social Media Mom so we share that geography and culture very much in common. Teri Lynne is a Christian writer and worship pastor's wife from Alabama so we have a strong bond through our faith and church experiences.

My awesome roomies Hillary and Teri Lynne plus the amazing Sarah.

I could NOT have asked for better roomates. The strong, diametrically opposed accents were fun too. I think I learned that I am more prone to unconsciously mirror the southern drawl of my current surroundings than the Philly twang I grew up with. I'm all mixed up.

Jenn, Kelly, Grace and Julie.

Danielle, Adam and Aliza.

Robin's Just Dance team, the Madonnabe's. 

Ok so my tools for photos like this? 

• I used a Nikon D90 DSLR. Not that important what kind of SLR it is, so long as you KNOW how to use it. 
• All of these photos are shot with a 35mm f/1.8 prime lens. That means no zooming but much better in low light. Wider than my 50mm b/c in crowds I am too close to people for the 50mm. 
• Center point metering. This is crucial for getting faces exposed properly. 
• Single point autofocus. I tell the camera where to focus instead of letting it choose for me. 
• I shot all these in aperature priority. I set the f-stop and ISO and let the camera choose the shutter speed. 
• Usually wide open shots, especially in the sessions where I won't use a flash. So a higher ISO (like 800) and f/1.8. 
• I also use exposure compensation bumped up +.3 because I like things slightly overexposed. 
• For the party photos the light was incredibly low so I used an EXTERNAL flash. Speedlite with a diffuser cap on it aimed at a 45 degree angle to what I was shooting at. That way the flash doesn't totally wash out and blind the faces or cause terrible undereye shadows. 
• I shoot exclusively in RAW so that underexposed photos can be brought up safely. 
• I leave my white balance set on automatic and adjust it in post processing later. 
• After deleting the obvious misses in the camera I download and edit using Adobe Lightroom.
• I always always always crop for better framing. My camera has a crop sensor so what I see in the viewfinder is not what I get, but I usually forget to compensate for that. Sometimes I remember. 
• Most room photos had a very yellow tinge because of the lights, so I adjusted the color temperature down a touch to the blue side.  

And that's it! If you understood all that...GREAT! If you didn't, no big deal. Just keep practicing :)

You can find a few more of my photos from the conference on She Posts and the whole collection on Flickr here.

Reflecting On Fourteen Years

Today is the fourteenth anniversary of the day I married my partner in life. The funny thing is, I totally forgot. Life has been so far out of the ordinary for the past couple of weeks that I am just not aware of the date anymore. This day was not something I had particularly been anticipating.

I think that's a good thing. Life is full and rich, we have other things to anticipate, and we recognize that our marriage itself is so much more wonderful than one day that occurred fourteen years ago.

At least I hope he sees it that way too. Considering the fact that I have always been the one to make a big deal out of holidays, I suspect he has always seen it this way. It just took a very full and satisfying month for me to feel this way too.

A bit of irony is that last night we had our final homestudy interview, during which we had to answer lots of questions about our marriage. Between these interviews and our necessary psychological evaluation, we have had tons of opportunity for forced reflection on ourselves and our relationship in the past few weeks.

My conclusion has been that things have never been better than they are right now. Lots of experience and growth and hard work has brought us to this place but I'm glad to be here. I'm also hopeful that more years will bring even more depth of intimacy and joy.

All this is not to say, even for a second, that things have been easy. Fourteen years of wedded bliss? Not remotely.

Marriage is hard work. It's about serving someone other than ourselves, after all. It's not about making ourselves happy. It has taken me a long time to really get that.

But it's worth it. It's worth all the sucky parts and all the sticking with it when it's boring or distant or even painful. It's worth investing everything you have into it. It's worth being a servant to someone else. It's worth knowing someone more deeply than anyone else, and being fully known and loved.

So hang in there.

But you've got to invest if you want it to stay good or get better. If you don't invest continually, it will degrade and you'll naturally drift apart. But if you do work at it, it can be beautiful and rewarding and bring real joy. Much like parenting.

"God knows we're worth it." - Jason Mraz

 

Blogging Ethics Recap from Type A Parent Conference

The panel session I attended on Blogger Ethics was led by Laura Bleill, Emily Paster, and my friend Caleb Gardner. Laura is a journalist, Emily is an attorney, and Caleb works in PR.

For bloggers who write professionally, working with brands and earning income, ethics are important. Unfortunately because blogging is so new and no one majors in blogging in college, there are lots of gray areas and confusion regarding what is ethical.

Here are some of my notes from the session. I apologize that I don't recall exactly who said what. 

• Blogs are personal and written in first person narrative with strong opinion, which is what makes them so different than pure journalism. 
• If you lose your ethics you will lose your audience. Authenticity and integrity are vital. 
• If you sell out in the short term, you are shooting your foot for the long term. 
• Your reputation is your asset and it is on the line. 
• Learn your boundaries and be true to yourself. 
• Per the FTC, if there is a "material connection" it must be disclosed. 
• If you fail to disclose, the FTC will likely penalize the brand, and maybe the agency, but not the blogger. But it will hurt everyone in the process. 
• General disclosure pages are not enough. Disclose in ever post. 
• Disclosures can be written in your own voice and worked into the text inoffensively.  
• "So and so reached out to partner with me to write this because they wanted to reach moms like you."
• Consider carefully if the sponsored post is a natural fit with your blog and audience. 
• If that post pays you $50 but it costs you five readers because it is super fake, it's not worth accepting.
• Purely editorial content, reviews, should be unpaid and unbiased. 
• If a company puts demands on you such as "don't publish anything negative", it's not a true review. Don't compromise. Send the product back if you must. 
• Advertorial or "product features" should be paid. Anything with stipulations such as deadlines or text links should be paid. 
• Product IS NOT payment. You can't pay taxes with product. 
• If you are writing for a newspaper or news site, work with a good editor. 
• Above all, consider yourself a professional. 

Overall the session was very helpful, especially to those new to the world of working with brands. Great job Laura, Caleb and Emily! 

If you couldn't be at Type A Conference and found this post helpful, I would love it if you'd Pin it, share it on Facebook, Tweet or Stumble it! Thanks. 

Adoption Update: Be Anxious In Nothing

People in the know keep asking me if we've heard anything new regarding our adoption and the changes taking place in Haiti. Friends following our story a little less closely ask how long it will be till we bring our daughter into our home too.

Let me share  what we know right now...not much.

A week and a half ago I felt the real possibility my dream of a baby girl from Haiti was crushed. So much of our paper chase hangs on our homestudy report and it seemed we were stalled on getting that done fast. I honestly had hoped we'd be done our interviews in May. Here we were in mid June and we had two long interviews to go and Mike and I were facing back to back weeks of travel.

I confess...I was not praying or trusting God as much as I was talking about doing that.

Thankfully I know other people were interceding on our behalf. We believe in something called spiritual warfare. I think we began to show signs of fatigue and anxiety in this process and our enemy saw an opportunity and tried to capitalize on it.

There were some weird delays. Then our AC unit broke to the tune of $700. (We RARELY have that kind of unexpected bill.) Then Mike took his car in for an oil change and found it needed $1200 of engine work. Ouch.

In case maybe you missed it, international adoption is crazy expensive.

So finaly we got the last two interviews scheduled...squeezed in between my trip and Mike's. We conveyed the increased urgency created by the impending changes in Haiti. Our agency coordinator increased how often she updated us with even little bits of info. Not to mention she stepped up the encouraging scripture.

Yesterday I felt some real hope that this may still happen. There is one important form, the I-600a, that we have to file with USCIS (US immigration) as soon as our homestudy is done. That may be the clincher to whether or not we can proceed before the close the country to adoptions. Also there are a few delays Haiti may create to stall becoming an official Hague country. That would be good!

Our agency is (wisely) not going to match us with a child until some of the uncertainty is sorted out. August first is a key date in all these questions with Haiti social services. I hope we'll know more sooner than that, but at least we know AN answer is not years away.

So please pray with us that they do start taking new cases Aug. 1st. We're still hoping and asking for a referral of a baby girl in Haiti.

Philippians 4:6-8

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”

USA Swimming Helps Moms Get Their Kids In The Water

USA Swimming wants moms and kids to have the tools they need to start swimming today. Who is USA Swimming? They are the trainers of the US Olympic swim team. They also happen to have 300,000 youth members. USA Swimming has associated swim clubs and teams all over the country.

On June 25th  through July 7th you will be able to watch the US swimming Olympic trials live from Omaha, NE on NBC. I am so STOKED to see who will represent our great country in London. Check out this video where you can see the Olympic trials pool in Omaha being built from the ground up.


I joined our local swim club's comptitive swim team very young. Races were only 25 meters long and my favorite was the backstroke. We spent every single day all summer long at the pool and some years we had winter lessons and spring indoor practices too.

It all ended for me in fifth grade when I developed an allergy to cold. Any exposure to cold water resulted in hives on my elbows and knees. Benedryl helped but I really could not race while on it. 

Fast-forward to today and I still love swimming. I started both my in swim lessons last year at ages 3 and 6. My now seven year old loves to swim and he definitely has a swimmers body. I have been planting the idea of joining our local swim team into his head but so far soccer is his thing. 


USA Swimming has created a great resource for moms like me who maybe want to teach their kids water safety and how to swim. They have a new website called SwimToday.org that shares why swimming is a great lifelong skill for kids and adults alike. 


The site can answer all your questions about when and how to get your kids swimming. It even has a cool club finder to point you to the nearest place to get lessons or even join a team. 


Why is it super important to get your kiddos swim lessons? Safety! Drowning is the #2 accidental death for kids ages 1-14 years. I am personally terrified of my kids drowning, which is why I refused to even consider a backyard pool when we moved to Houston. Swimming lessons decrease the risk of drowning by 80%. That was enough to convince me! 

Need another reason to get your kids swimming? How about fitness? Swimming is a whole body workout that does not stress your joints the way other sports do. It can be a life long exercise program with huge health benefits. My grandfather swam laps daily into his 80's. 


I have started swimming laps as training to compete in a triathalon next spring. Am I crazy? Maybe. But I think it will be super fun. I have a long way to go, but I swam laps on Sunday and man, my arms are SORE this week. The SwimToday.org site has a link to the Speedo Pace Club where I can set goals and track my level of fitness. It's awesome. 


Personally I love that my kids are really learning to swim, and I love to swim with them. I think SwimToday.org is an awesome resource. They even have scholarships for moms who want their kids to have lessons but can't afford it! So check it out, and be sure to cheer on Team USA Swimming this summer in Omaha and London!! 


Disclosure: I was compensated for this post but all wording and opinions are mine and 100% truthful. 

Haiti and the Hague Convention

Mme Villedrouin, Director of IBESR

Haiti Ratifies the Hague

Yesterday I got some hard news regarding our adoption from Haiti. During their designated "Week of the Child", the Haitian parliament went ahead and ratified their decision to become a party to the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption.

For those unfamiliar with the Hague, it is a treaty between party countries that governs adoptions between these countries. Developed in 1993, the US signed the Hague in 1994 but did not fully implement it until 2008. It took 14 years for the US, the most advanced nation in the world, to put everything in place to meet Hague requirements.

The goal of the Hague is to ensure adoptions are legal and transparent and to ensure the welfare of children. It's aim is to curb corrupt and unethical adoption practices like kidnapping, baby selling and child trafficking. The intentions are great.

History of Hague's Effect on Adoption

The problem is that the effect of implementing the Hague in countries like Vietnam, Nepal and Guatemala has been to shut down adoptions from to the US entirely. Pretty much as soon as another country joins the Hague, the US is obligated to suspend adoptions from that country while it checks to see if their procedures meet Hague restrictions.

From the US State Dept.

In some cases, adoptions that have already started to be processed are grandfathered in and the US tries to get them completed. But in a situation like Guatemala, who ratified the Hague in 2008, the foreign government simply does not follow through. Families are stuck waiting and children sit in orphanages. Adoptions went from over 4000 per year in 2008 to near zero since they adopted the Hague.

The Haitian government is trying to appear organized and strong and caring for the well being of Haitian children. They were pressured by UNICEF and the French government to ratify the Hague way before they were ready to implement it.

The thing is, UNICEF hates international adoption. They've gone on record time and again fighting against it, calling it baby stealing and an industry where supply meets demand.

No one is denying that there are unethical practices and nobody wants that. I would rather a child be raised by his own family in his own country than have an American family's dream of parenthood fulfilled unlawfully.

But UNICEF has no answer for what to do with the children who really will grow up in orphanages if they cannot be adopted. Some orphanages are better than others, but they are no replacement for a loving family.

How This Affects Our Adoption

So what does all this mean for our family and our adoption? We don't know yet.

All the agency people and orphanage directors are telling adoptive parents not to panic. These same people have for months prayed and hoped that the Hague would not be ratified too soon. Of course we all knew how risky adoption is, especially in Haiti.

We claim to trust the Lord's sovereign plan and His perfect timing. That's easy to say and much harder to do. I've gotta remember that all this isn't about us, or about Haiti, or about orphans. It's all about God and His glory. I've gotta remember that ultimately that's what we want in all this, to make much of Jesus.

But still I wonder now, as we are thrust back into the dark, what does this mean for our little family of four in Texas? How long till we know whether to press forward in the direction of Haiti or change course completely?

We have had at least two other friends had to change countries entirely in their adoption process. It would be easier now, since we have not been matched with a child yet. But we have fallen for Haiti and its fatherless children. Our hearts really are for them right now.

So we pray, and we ask you to pray. Not just for us, but for Haiti, and all the other families in the US with kids waiting for them in Haiti. Pray that God uses this to draw Mike and I back more fully into total submission and dependence on Him. And that we would find our kid, wherever she is.

Broccoli, Peas and Carrots, Oh MY!

One of my greatest struggles as a mother has been ensuring that my children eat healthy, nutritious food. I have many other strengths in parenting, like instituting sleep schedules and teaching manners, but getting my kids to eat lean meat, fruits and veggies is not one of them.

I confessed this parenting failure some time ago and got tons of great advice from my readers in the comments. But two years passed and my kid still refused to put a vegetable in his mouth. I tried lots of tricks and manipulation. 

Nothing worked. 

Then one day at a restaurant, my husband offered my son a quarter if he would try eating a mushroom. Just one. Alex took that offer and scarfed down said mushroom. He said it wasn't good, but wasn't horrible, and he seemed immensely satisfied with his earnings. 

So we tried it again a couple more times with different foods. Bribing with dessert had never worked but money did wonders. At least it got him to put a few foreign foods in his mouth, even if only once. 

Gradually this trying new things started to become normal as Alex realized that the foods weren't so bad and the taste or texture only lasted a few seconds on his tongue. 

Then came the radical shift in our dinnertime meals when my husband was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I cut all carbs out of our regular evening meals, except for a roll or piece of bread for each child. No more noodles or french fries. 

I replaced all these carbs with tons and tons of veggies. This was mainly to keep my husband satisfied and his blood sugar level, but I started adding more and more veggies to my kids' plates too. Bigger portions of meat too, usually in the form of grilled chicken or steak. 

They were allowed to use copious amounts of ketchup. 

One day I discovered that if I actually pick up Alex's fork, stab a piece of broccoli and feed him like a baby, he'll eat it. All the begging and coercing for him to do it himself only served to wear us out, but feeding him one bite at a time myself emptied the plate. 

I celebrated. We praised him for his empty plate. He was rewarded with ice cream. 

I don't care if I have to feed him like a toddler, he is now eating carrots, peas and broccoli, among other nutritious foods. The other day he ASKED for carrots. It's a huge victory for team mom!


This week and next, you'll want to check out Kroger and Kroger Banner Stores for P&G’s big sale event, June 10–23! At Kroger and its banner stores, more than 30 of your favorite P&G brands are at HOT sale prices including Tide, Charmin, Cascade, Pampers, Crest and Olay. Look for tags with special prices throughout the household needs and health and beauty aisles, and be on the lookout for even bigger offers – like getting serious dollars off when you buy a bundle of products.

Before hitting the store, visit P&G’s event page on Kroger.com. You can play games like basketball, track and gymnastics to win money off your next Kroger trip, download digital coupons, print a shopping list, and learn more about P&G products! And as part of this event, consider trying one of these fab products from P&G: Vicks Nature Fusion, Charmin Basic, Downy Unstopables, and Swiffer Duster Extenders!

Disclosure: I was selected for participation in this campaign as a member of Clever Girls Collective.

AdventureCon: The Perfect Mix of Family and "Me" Time

Blogger bonding time with Rachel and Debi!

As you know if you read my blog last week, my family traveled to San Antonio this weekend so that I could join the Sea World Wildside Bloggers at AdventureCon. The past three days were the ideal mix of time with my kids and husband and activities devoted to enhancing my professional blogging skills.

I've been to other blogging conferences that were family free and entirely devoted to learning and building relationships with other bloggers. They are wonderful but can sometimes feel overwhelming, even for an extreme extrovert like me. Conferences like Mom 2.0 Summit and Type A Parent include lots of parties and networking events that involve non-stop talking and very little down time. Bloggers usually end up sharing a hotel room with other bloggers to defray costs as well.

Blog writing workshop with Jeff Herrington.

On the other hand, the idea of getting away from the responsibilities of children and home can be fantastic. Escaping the familiar always appeals to me. Some moms really do need the affirmation of their non-parenting related abilities that comes from a professional conference once in awhile.

But is juggling a family at a blog conference really a good idea? AdventureCon definitely made it work.

First of all it helps that the event took place at one of the most amazing theme parks in the country. My husband did not have any trouble entertaining Nathan and Alex for the hours I was in sessions. I missed out on visiting the dolphins and watching Alex master a large climbing complex, but I didn't miss Nathan riding his first roller coaster or any meals with my boys.

The back and forth between family and blogger time was a refreshing dynamic for both my husband and I. I had been worried Mike would get frustrated with managing the kids on his own, but because of the short doses of time that didn't happen. It helps that we only have two and they are at an age that doesn't require strollers, diaper changes, naps or frequent meals and snacks. I imagine it might be harder with more small fries.

Nathan and Alex meeting Shamu!

Speaking of their ages, at 4 and 7 years old I think we were at the perfect ages for Sea World and this whole adventure. They rode the whole way to San Antonio, walked all over the Alamo and Riverwalk and even sat and listened to history lessons without fussing. Though they fell asleep a bit later than usual the first night in the hotel they didn't bother us a bit till our alarm went off at 6am. And they trecked all over the park in blazing heat without so much as a complaint or even one tear shed.

We all fell into bed exhausted and happy Saturday night. I felt especially fulfilled by the AdventureCon experience, combining learning and new friendships with amazing family bonding time. So thanks to Kami, Julie, Sarah and Brian who made that happen. I would encourage other companies and PR agencies seeking to engage bloggers as advocates to consider AdventureCon as a great model of what works.

Disclosure: I was invited to Sea World and AdventureCon as a Wildside blogger brand advocate but all words and opinions are mine and completely truthful. 

10 Reasons I'm Looking Forward to AdventureCon 2012

This weekend I am positively THRILLED to be headed to San Antonio to attend Sea World's AdventureCon 2012 blogger conference. It's kind of a "conference-lite" for bloggers and their whole families. I think you can still join us if you're interested in a weekend of family fun in the sun with likeminded media types. Conference tickets are only $65 and that includes admission to the parks and food and lots of perks that save you money verses just buying each member of your family a regular admission pass.

Here are a few highlights I'm especially looking foward to. 

1. Seeing my blogging friends again! It's been too long since I last got to hang out with Rachel and her family in Corpus. I haven't seen Colleen since Mom 2.0 two years ago. I saw Dwan at Mom2 last year and I still don't think I've met Lea Ann in person yet even though we worked on the same Chevy campaign for a LONG time together. Then of course there are my Houston homegirls including Jennifer, Crystal and Sara who I couldn't possibly see often enough. 

2. Introducing my boys to their very first roller coasters. Sea World has Great White and Steel Eel and my husband is pumped about having someone to ride with him now since I can't stand coasters. Not my idea of fun. Nathan is super excited but I'm not sure if Alex is quite ready for a full sized coaster. I'll ride the smaller Shamu Express with him.

3. Hanging with the animals! To me the best part of Sea World is the animal exhibits, especially my favorite animals, the penguins. The orcas in the Shamu show are pretty awesome too. It seems like there are great shows to look forward to all day and night long.

4. Checking out Aquatica, Sea World's new water park that just opened last month. There are water slides galore, sand beaches and a big wave pool to play in. I especially wanna do the one where you go through a tunnel with stingrays swimming above you.

5. Staying at the Courtyard Marriott with my family. My kids love the hotel experience which we've only had with them a couple times years ago. This time (knock on wood) they are old enough we shouldn't have to worry about them keeping us up all night. I'm grateful for the super reasonable hotel rate the conference provided us. Even our tight budget could handle it.

6. Learning more about storytelling for my blog from speaker Jeff Herrington. Becoming a better storyteller is near the tippy top of my list of life goals.

7. Improving my video production skills with a session lead by award winning producers Robert Currie and Salwa Khan. I'm very interested in this, especially before I start traveling to Haiti where I want to create some compelling film.

8. Leading a photography session with a photowalk around Sea World! Photography ignites my soul and nothing gets me more excited than passing on what I've learned to others. I can't wait to see some of the images that result from our time together on Saturday!

9. Learning more about Sea World's awesome conservation efforts. As an environmental engineer in the field of water protection you can imagine how much I care about preserving God's creation. I know Sea World is a lot more than a theme park and I'm anxious to hear more.

10. Joining the other awesome Sea World Wildside Bloggers and getting to know them. I'm grateful to have been invited to be a "Wildsider" this year and to have the opportunity to really get to know more about Sea World and Aquatica. 

Sandwiched

Have you ever heard the term "the sandwich generation"? I've heard it used to refer to people, especially women, who find themselves caring for their aging parents while they still have children under their roof. It seems like this mostly occurs where their parents gave birth to them later in life and they also didn't have kids till late in life. It's a unique struggle that is becoming more common.

Well I'm in a similar situation through a different set of circumstances and it is affording me a lot of learning opportunities most people my age don't get. My grandparents are 92 and they had two sons, but both died very young, leaving only two grandchildren, of which I am the oldest. They are unusually healthy and able to live independently for now, but we moved to Houston because they had no other family nearby and they need help pretty often. Over the past few years they have come to rely on me and my husband for lots of things, especially when medical crisis happens. Which it has, many times.

Every summer they leave Houston and fly to their house in Boston for five months. It's just something they do, regardless of how much sense it makes. Last year while they were there, my grandfather passed out, hit his head and wound up in the hospital and then a rehab center. The big problem with that is no one to care for my grandmom, who can't drive herself, can't cook anything anymore, and is struggling with a bit of dementia. At the time my leg was broken so my flying to Boston wouldn't be helpful. My sister had a newborn. So my mom (their daughter-in-law who remarried after their son died) and her husband drove up from Philadelphia to help. It was a struggle.

My grandmother is one of the most quietly prideful women I've ever met. She was suddenly thrust into a situation where her beloved husband could not care for her and she was forced to "admit" (though really she admits nothing) that she needed help. Much like a child, she was frightened and insecure deep down, I'm sure, but that manifested itself in distrustfulness and ingratitude towards those trying to help.

Eventually my grandfather recovered enough to come home and with hired help they were able to come back to their home in Houston. I managed their finances while he couldn't and realized how huge of a burden just sorting their mail and paying bills for two houses is. Together we attended several lunches and tours at a wonderful nearby retirement home where several of their close friends already live. I was hopeful they would move in, and my grandfather expressed his desire to, but as my grandmother's confusion increases, her death grip on what she knows only gets stronger. They've been married for almost 70 years and he does everything he can to avoid pissing her off, so although he mentions it to her often, she says she likes things just the way they are. She is the queen of denial, and honestly believes they will both be healthy and able to drive to dinner ever night till they are past 100. Really he probably shouldn't be on the road now, but until they move it's necessary.

So today they are off to Boston again for the summer. I came over Saturday and got my grandmother started with her packing. She would go over the same article of clothing five times, not remembering she already had, before determining it shouldn't go. She packed like ten pairs of shoes she will never where because she only has two pair that don't hurt her feet. She's got a terrible staph infection on her leg that doesn't seem to be getting better with antibiotics, but it has already caused a two week delay in their trip so now she'll hopefully just see a doctor in Boston. God forbid they not go.

Yesterday, when I was supposed to be working, I got a call from my grandfather pleading with me to come over and help my grandmother finish packing. I'm not sure why he can't get her motivated and I can, but naturally I went. And in a few minutes I'm headed to pick them up to drive them to the airport, hoping and praying they really are packed, but knowing there will likely be last minute chaos.

What works for me, when I remember it, is prayer and reminding myself that nothing about this situation is out of God's sovereign control. Nothing surprises him. Even the worst case scenario won't kill me. I may struggle with how to solve the next crisis, but I can trust that it's all in His hands. And remembering to be grateful for my amazing grandparents and the legacy they have left me and their great-grandchildren helps immensely too. 

Shoes I Did Not Buy, But You Should

Last Sunday I popped on down to my local Nordstrom store to visit the Spa for an eyebrow wax as part of a project I'm working on for All Things Chic and Nordstrom. It *just* so happened to be the weekend of the incredible Women's Half-Yearly sale as well, a magical few days when they pile up the leftovers of their gorgeous things onto sale racks and offer them at about 35-50% off.

If there's one serious weakness I have in life, it is shoes. Especially the beautiful high heels they have at Nordstrom. They are a vice of mine. I once found myself buying two pair of shoes at full price, which was pretty steep. I haven't ever regretted buying either pair.

But alas, right now is not a good time for us to spend unnecessary money, what with the whole adoption thing costing an arm and a leg. Shoes are definitely not something I'm in need of, especially dressy high heels I wear maybe once a week.

So let me show you the shoes I really really really wanted to buy. Several of them are available online and you should buy them. Right now. Then tell me. It'll make me feel better.

First up were these stunning beautiful lavender patent pumps...with a BOW! I love bows. These are Enzo Angiolini and are also available in gold and red and something else, for a mere $60! I drooled over them, but could not justify them.

Then there were the Coach sandals, only $113! So practical, so "affordable", and so cute. Again though, it just would  not be a good idea for me to spend that money on shoes, so I put them back on the sale rack. *sigh*

Finally, the ones I had the toughest time not purchasing. I'm still tempted to buy them, since they are still available in all sizes at the sale price of $60 online. I have several pairs of brown leather sandals but all are pretty old and I'm quite tired of them. Plus these have fantastic buckles! (Yes I know I need a pedi.)

Sacrifices, right? There's a little girl in Haiti waiting for me and even one pair of these shoes equals a night or two in a guest house in Port Au Prince where I will have time to bond with her.

So link up this Fashion Friday and show me what other cute stuff you are shopping for!